


What ifs

by GabyEliAlexz



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativitwins, DLAMP implied, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Human AU, Platonic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Remus is dead, Remus was enby, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29146248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabyEliAlexz/pseuds/GabyEliAlexz
Summary: What Roman feels when he loses his sibling, Rem.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus Sanders
Kudos: 8





	What ifs

**Author's Note:**

> Mmm... so, this is sad.  
> My sister died yesterday and this is sort of a writing my feelings down, i guess?  
> And I noticed it could be Sanders Sides appliable (i don't even know is that word exists).
> 
> Hope you like it... and I'm sorry?)

Losing someone once is hard, but losing them twice it’s worse.

People would say: “how bad can be? Don’t you already know what it feels like?”

Losing someone because you were separated is one thing. The hope remains. Even when you believe you are over it, you’re not, in the back of your mind, in that corner you don’t see, there’s still hope.

Hope that someday you’ll see them again and you may make up for the lost time. Hope that you would talk with them and be accepted. Hopes and hopes and hopes.

But when you lose that hope.

When you lose that hope is crushing. When you know there will never be a chance to reconnect. When you think about all those times they reached out and you just ignored them or brushed them aside. Your mind just fills with  _ what ifs _ .

_ What if I’d have answered them? _

_ What if I’d have met with them? _

_ What if I hadn’t pushed them out of my life? _

Then you think.

_ What if I didn’t know… _

_ What if I were ignorant of the fact that I lost them? _

_ What if I would still have that hope? _

_ What if. What if. What if. _

There’s no more what ifs.

Roman looks up and watches all the people around him. 

Judging him. 

Belittling his feelings.

Strangers.

And he feels so alone. 

Alone with his thoughts.

Alone with his feelings.

Alone feeling hopeless.

But he’s not alone, right? He’s not. He just feels like it.

Closes his eyes. Cheeks wet. He’s tired of crying.

But he’s not alone. 

_ I’m not alone. _

One hand in each shoulder. A pair of arms hugging him. One hand messing with his hair.

He’s not alone.


End file.
